i always forget guys have bellybuttons
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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