i think my tv is drunk
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
