He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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