her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
