I love black thongs
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
