And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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