i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
