he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"