Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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