Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
