Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
