I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
