i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
