So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
