Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize