you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
