How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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