Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
