dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
