were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
