Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
