I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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