Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
