Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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