she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize