I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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