Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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