i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
