We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
