So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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