That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
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