Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
