If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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