i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
