I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
