i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
