I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
