Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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