Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
