im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
