I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
