How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
