Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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