You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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