oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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