I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
