My hand turned me down
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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