She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
