had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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