i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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