All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
