if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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