I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
