I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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