i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
