the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
