so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm really busy with my period
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