I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
