Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize