just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
