I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
